Fantasy Civil Service – Prologue

King Alfred sat on his throne, bored and tired. Although it was great that his Kingdom now exisisted unmolested by any credible foreign threat, the lack of wars, and all that entailed, meant he now spent all his time back at his castle. Being at his castle meant he had to deal with his subjects. Dealing with his subjects was one of the many reasons he had started his campaigns of war in the first place. War had meant excitement for him, and for most of his people. When you are fighting for your lives that really is all you could concentrate on. When you weren’t, well, any old nonsense became something ‘you should take to the King’.

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The Silver Tart – Part Six

The import section of Bakewell Street was a strange place to be. Technically and legally home to all imports into Cake Stand City the majority of the trade was illegal in some manner. That was not to say that everything being imported was an illegal good, but when an import duty was dodged or a cake allowed access to items not authorised for them, a legal good becomes illegal.

Bread knew he and Muffin had been sent here purely to be out of the way. Gache could have let them stay in the office but that was not his way. Bread also knew that Gache wanted his take on Muffin. So far his opinion was not very good.

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The Silver Tart – Part Four

Lemon Muffin paced around the office, a bad case of verbal diarrhoea following in her wake. It was clear to Inspector Gache that Lemon Muffin was uneasy about the idea; this was a good thing. Yes he needed to know that Muffin would follow his lead over any others, but it was never wise to get into business with anyone who would screw over old loyalties at a drop of a hat. Still, her constant verbal reasoning with herself was getting a little much and he needed to move this along.

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The Silver Tart – Part Three

Inspector Gache sat in his office, watching Constable Bread and Lemon Muffin carry in an extra desk. He ordered that the desks be set up in a triangle shape, so they could all sit and talk and look at each other. As if to answer an unasked question, Gache said,

“The majority of our work, and our time, will be spent in this room. Here we can look at the evidence we have found, state the theories we have concocted and allow our fellows to rebuke or add to them. Here cases will be cracked.”Read More »

The Silver Tart – Part Two

Cake Stand City consisted of three tiers, and had been that way ever since it was constructed. When the Biscuit War broke out it soon became apparent that the Cakes would lose due to the vastly superior numbers the biscuits could put out. To level the playing the field the Master Baker of the Cake Stand City invented bread; cheap to make and quick, it was almost the perfect solution. Yet against the speed and agility of a biscuit the loaf was too slow and too big a target. In a move the Master Baker would eventually come to hate, he came up with a way to slice the loaf into twenty four equal parts. Each slice was a unique, if still somewhat linked, individual. Soon the Cake army outnumbered the Biscuit army by ten to one, and the war ended in an uneasy truce.

With the war over the problem became one of housing, and superiority. Even though the Breads had saved Cake Stand City, every Cake (with a few exceptions) believed they were better than the Breads. When it was suggested the Breads would slide into the existing tiers of the City, this was met with outrage and disgust. While the Cakes debated the problem, the more solution ready Breads simply built a new tier of the City in the dirt below the bottom tier. To this day the Cakes still debate the Bread Housing issue, whereas the Breads are very happy in their section that they refer to as their Bin.Read More »

The Silver Tart – Part One

Gache sat in his office, the sights and smells of the recent crime scene still very fresh in his mind. He had left when the Muffin Squad turned up, flashing their badges and taking authority over the case. Even though he knew the Mayor was right now fighting against the Muffin intrusion, Gache knew he would not get very far. This was not the first time ‘The Slicer’ had committed his unique and ghastly crime sprees, but by Hot Cross Buns Gache swore this would be the last. But he knew that if the Muffin Squad was investigating all the future held was twelve more dead cakes and no answers.Read More »