A letter from Matron to the Lope Institute

Dear Mr Lope

I hope this letter finds you well. I am afraid that given the distance between us, and the tumultuous relationship between our two nations, that I have never heard of the Lope Institute. However after conducting research I can see that your efforts are well respected and your institute held in the highest regards. It was on this basis that I did some research into Artex Rock and the madness it became known it gave. I must say some of the examples were horrific, and see Lime is mentioned in almost all of them. It must have been boon for your town when your mother stepped up and tried to help this poor hapless souls.

At first I was aghast that you could not find some workplaces closer to home to help with the rehabilitation of your recovering patients, but as I dwelled upon it I realised it must be harder to believe the madness can be cured the closer to it you were. Had I seen first hand some of the situations I discovered in my research, I am sure my only answer to your request would have been no.

You are right when you say we work in the some sort of profession, though I confess I am glad I do not need to cure any of my residents of madness. Looking after heroes as they prepare for their final adventure is a work that only brings pleasure; I doubt all your patients stories have such happy conclusions. You may find it strange that I see death as a happy ending, but when it is natural and as pain free as possible I do see it as happy. Besides the residents I care for only have one place left to go, so finding their passing sad would ruin the soul of any who would help them on their journey.

I do not wish to get your hopes up, but neither do I wish to quench your inspiring flame. We are willing to accept a few of your patients into a work rehabilitation scheme, but this must come with several provisos.

The first of which is that every patient you send to us will be evaluated by both medical and human resources to see to their suitability for the jobs we have on offer. If no suitable role can be found we will be sending that patient back, at your expense. We are not a charity and cannot house any who cannot work here. As a guide I have attached the jobs we have on offer here and ask that you send only those who you believe are capable of fulfilling any of these roles. We have multiples of each on offer.

Second. For this initial trial we are only willing to accept five patients. Should this go well, and should you find more patients suitable for our needs, we can increase this number dramatically over time.

Third, due to the training that must be given to all staff at some expense, we will be asking that all patients accepted into our halls must remain for a period of not less than four years. Any who do leave before this period is up will need to have their training expense recouped from your institute, minus any years served of course. This clause will be valid even if we decide we need to send a patient back during this time. I know this may seem extreme but I am afraid it is the only way we can accept any through our doors.

Forth, any damage to anyone or anything caused by the direct actions of one of your patients suffering from the madness will need to be covered by your institute. On this point I do stress this will only occur when the direct cause of the damage is due to the madness. Any damage caused by incompetence or simple mistake will not be beholden to you.

If the above provisos are acceptable to you I can have our human resources manager draft up some paperwork for you to look over. Once all signed we are happy to take the initial test five as soon as you are ready. If you cannot agree with the above then I am afraid we will have to be yet another place that could not help you, though I hope that will not be the case.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Best
Matron

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